When an Academy awarded actress asks for help — what do you do?

“Yes, I’m happy to do that” is my motto.

Public speaking, learning code, sales, tile a bathroom, coffee with celebrities? Certainly. And helping someone way outside my personal circles.

The shy kid

Looking back over my life, I never considered myself to be confident. To the contrary, I thought of myself as shy well into my 30s.

As a child, people had told me that I behaved shyly and so I adopted a self limiting belief that I was actually shy. Our beliefs regularly make us blind to the data around us — models think they are ugly, brilliant researchers think they are not smart, entrepreneurs struggle to believe in their own products. We become our own worst critics because we give other people to much credibility.

Data

Despite my shyness, I managed to enjoy a litany of desirable (for me) experiences. Learn home repair, check; ride big Pipeline, check; Ferrari tuner, check; early internet startups, check; windsurf Adicora, check; two amazing kids, also a big check.

Looking back, they happened because I consistently did one thing. I said “yes”.

I said yes when people asked for help. Saying yes when people ask for help opens a multitude of opportunities. They may not show up immediately but they will show up. And it’s ridiculously easy to say “yes”.

Wash the dishes

Years ago when that actress asked me to lightly prank one of her friends at a beach on O’ahu — I said yes.

When a friend asked for help working an event for local celebrities — I said yes. When a stranger asked me to check her car — I said yes. When asked to speak on achieving tech careers — I said yes.

I also said “yes” to digging out a 5 foot wide palm tree stump, washing all the dishes after a big holiday party, replacing a friend’s car engine, and re-writing a broken server over a weekend. These were all “yes” to helping other people and they all lead to opportunities.

Better than nothing

Confidence is 100% about knowing we can help others — that’s it. The work doesn’t have to be amazing (how amazing can digging a hole be?). It just has to be better than nothing.

Better than nothing is a very low bar.

Most people are afraid of criticism. I am also — but I’ve hacked that fear to bolster my confidence. The hack is this “Any work to help someone is better than doing nothing. Contribution beats comfort.” Contribution proves you are trustable. Trust is critical for relationships, opportunities, and adventures.

You can earn trust by doing “better than nothing” — can’t you?

Listen

You have to listen to hear the requests.

People don’t always open with “hey, can you help me with….”. They will however talk about challenges they are having — and that is your opportunity.

Tim Ferris famously wrote about how he got access to the movers and shakers of Silicon Valley — by volunteering to help event organizers who he heard were over-worked. These people were miles above Tim’s pay grade — but because of Tim’s work, they learned he was trustable. Being trustable is incredibly valuable.

Tim’s volunteer work was the key that later opened all kinds of doors when Tim needed advice. His small investment in time was worth millions in income.

Start

You can start this anywhere.

Help a child with school, pickup groceries for an elderly neighbor, help a startup, or volunteer at Habitat For Humanity. The important thing is to realize how much more valuable helping people and growing your confidence is than playing video games or binge watching Netflix. True confidence is the prize.

It’s your choice. I know what has worked for me.

PS: how can I help you?

This post originally appeared on Medium.