Bright-Eyed and Back to School
Image by Kate Stone Matheson on Unsplash
The Importance of Sleep
As the calendar rolls into the double-digit days of August, children across the country hoard their last days and hours of freedom like Scrooges of Summer. Meanwhile, parents secretly cheer in anticipation of reclaiming freedom after the kiddos board the bus. Nevertheless, school’s start can stress parents as well as kids if students aren’t prepared mentally, physically and emotionally for the change.
The CDC recently found what teens and parents already know: school starts too early. With only one in three high schoolers sleeping eight hours a night (when many experts claim that the average teen needs more than nine!), the majority risk a variety of health and behavioral risks associated with chronic fatigue, including obesity, depression, poor academic performance, and use of drugs and alcohol. And while California mandated in 2022 that high schools start no earlier than 8:30 and middle schools no later than 8, this trend is hardly universal – and still doesn’t allow teens to get the 9.25 hours they need, if they’re going to bed a midnight.
How can parents help? If your teen has been sleeping till noon (or later!) all summer and falling asleep in the wee hours of the morning, wean him toward a school wake-up time gradually over the next few weeks. If your child is waking up at noon now and needs to start waking up at six (a difference of 360 minutes) in, say, eighteen days, divide 360 by 18 to get 20 minutes per day. So, tomorrow set the alarm for 11:40am, the next day, at 11:20, and so on….
Easy right?
Of course not. Teens will protest, claiming that they need to sleep until noon now precisely because they’ll be losing sleep when school starts in a couple of weeks. Change the focus of the conversation to your child’s ability to get enough sleep in the long-term. Open a discussion about why sleep is so important; you might even want to share the results of the CDC study here. Start from (and stick to) a place of concern, avoiding phrases like “you need to” and “you should.” Express your hopes for your child’s well-being during the coming school year, rather than imposing what she might interpret as another rule that erodes her autonomy. You may even want to collaborate with her to co-create a workable sleep schedule, rather than crafting it for her, so it becomes a model for other types of time management.
Follow up this loving concern with the persistence of a drill sergeant. If this week’s wake-up time is 10am, physically shake Luis out of bed. If you’re at work and there’s no other adult at home to do this for you, don’t stop calling your kid until he’s out of bed and on his feet. Better yet, give him some task to complete that’s outside of the house and time-dependent, like mowing Mrs. Johnson’s lawn next door before the Senior Center picks her up at 11am.
If all of this waking-up business is sounding less fun than a root canal, let’s discuss getting your teen to sleep at night. If Emma needs to be up at 8am next week, that means she needs to get to sleep no later than midnight (and ideally by 11pm). That’s going to be a challenge if her head has been used to hitting the pillow at 4am all summer. The biggest gift you can give your child is to take away her cell phone, tablet, laptop, gaming system – in short, any bright screen at all – one hour before bedtime. Late at night, we all need to turn off these screens, which can interfere with our bodies’ natural sleep cycles (read more about this in Scientific American here). Confiscate her phone till morning, since many teens will find it too tempting to reach for their cells if they’re lying in bed awake. Many parents will find enforcing bedtime for their teens difficult, but it’s just as (if not more) important than waking them up in the morning.
Try to minimize the possibility of your child tossing and turning in bed at 11pm by making sure that the time he spends awake during the day is active and productive. If he doesn’t have a part-time job, perhaps assign him some household chores that involve some physical exertion. Limit her caffeine intake and end consumption to ten hours before bedtime; that’s no coffee or soda after 12 noon if bedtime is at 10pm.
If he naps during the day, have him set an alarm so that he sleeps no longer than 45 minutes (any longer and he may enter REM sleep, which will interfere with his ability to fall asleep later than evening). (Check out one of these old-school alarm clocks here.) The earlier in the day the nap occurs, the better chance he’ll have of falling asleep at his appointed bedtime. Bringing mindfulness to daytime routines can help our teens from sabotaging precious time they need to recharge at night.
Finally, like most lifestyle choices, adolescents will often model your behavior. Prioritize your own sleep so that your children have a healthy example not just of wake and bedtimes, but also of proper “sleep hygiene.” Turn off your own screens an hour before bedtime, limit your own caffeine consumption, and regularly engage in physical activity so that your children witness your commitment to your own sleep.
If these practices are challenging for you, share your struggles with your teen: knowing that you’re not perfect and yet still attempting to improve your well-being may inspire your child to follow suit. Think about trying some stress reduction techniques together so your shut-eye at night is more restful. If you get more sleep in the process, you might just become well-rested enough to deal with any of the other hundreds of challenges involved in raising a teenager!
About the Author
Dominique Padurano, known as Dr. P. to her students, is the Founder and President of Crimson Coaching, which provides expert, caring academic tutoring, test prep, and college counseling to students worldwide. A magna cum laude graduate of Harvard College, Dr. P.’s passionate about helping students fulfill their potential. Parents can schedule a complimentary consultation with Dr. P. here or email her directly at info@crimsoncoaching.com.
